BASEBALL

My father loved baseball.

And I can still remember as a kid jumping on a swing, sailing high above the ground and singing at the top of my lungs, "Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the fun, buy me some peanuts and CrackerJacks, I don't care if I ever come back!"

Yet, I am glad that my son did not inherit a genetic disposition or even a social predilection to enjoy the game.

Based on the latest reports of drug use in Major League Baseball, perhaps the new theme song should be, "Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the fun, buy me some steroids and coke or crack, watch all the home runs I then will whack!"

And in response to the revelations of the MLB commission, the U.S. Congress has called for an investigation into steroid use in baseball.

Hello, Congress??? Aren't you forgetting about waterboarding? What about warrantless wiretapping? What about global warming and the Kyoto Protocols? Why not take a look at the growing list of Bush scandals?

Here's why.

This is not a move to end baseball as it is today. It is a diplomatic endgame. Politicians are wiggling in their seats, avoiding tackling controversial issues that might negatively impact the current presidential election campaigns. Our elected officials, both Republican and Democrat, are ostriches, trying to stay out of trouble and pass the time until George W. Bush has left office.

And in case you are wondering how many months, days, hours, and seconds it will be until you can rejoice, there is a handy online clock that will give you an official Bush countdown.